Amazing timing

So...I've had a few rough months at work. Wondering about my calling. Wondering if it is all worth it. The late nights. The long days. The investment into something bigger than myself. Am I making ANY difference? Wondering what my future may hold.

And then...

God sends these little reminders. I know, cheesy right? Well, cheesy or not, I believe he sent me a reminder today. A "little hello from God" as Barbara Daniels calls them.

So, I work at a small Christian college in the mid-west. It is my alma mater. I love it. Believe in its mission. Know it is a place where lives are transformed. Mine was - and still is. The pay isn't great. The hours are long. But, there are these wonderful rewards. You build relationships with students that - in the best cases - graduate and become really great friends. You see how the Lord stretches and grows them. You see them using their gifts in ways that truly bring honor to God.

Two of these people are Carl & Cara Zoch. They were both student leaders I was blessed to work with. And now... I call them friends. Carl shared some photos today from a recent gathering to celebrate the life of another former student. These photos are pure artistry. I look at each image and see the "story" of a student who has impacted me. So then I think, wow...I can't believe I GET to work at a place like this. A place that gives me this amazing opportunity to see the Lord at work. Front row. Best seats in the house.

Carl & Cara, and so many others like them, remind me why I do what I do. Why the long nights ARE worth it.

What a gift.

so...it has been a while

Ok, so I haven't blogged in a very long time. While I try to think of something worthwhile to write about, I thought I'd just post a picture of the Brant kids and me on our Fall Break camping trip to the Wichita Mountains.

"Oh Give Me a Home...Where the Buffalo Roam"

So, I took a "mental health day" today. That's right. I woke up this morning, and I just needed a day to be outside. To feel the sunshine. To not think about work - although I knew I'd pay later for taking a fun day today, since I'm totally swamped already!

It was simply FABULOUS. BEAUTIFUL weather. I decided to fill the tank, put in the ipod and hit the road. I wasn't sure where to go, but then I remembered that I've always wanted to go down to the Wichita Mountains. So I went. By myself. Sunroof open. Tunes blaring. Large Diet Coke from Sonic. No directions or maps...I just knew they were near lawton, so I followed the signs. And... there they were! (On a side note, I realized that I totally inherited my Dad's ability to find places without any maps or directions. I called it his inner compass... and I totally have it.)

It was so great! Days like today make me miss college life. Back when you could just be spontaneous and do crap like that. One advantage to being single is that, despite work and other obligations, I really STILL CAN be spontaneous. I don't have kids or a husband that I have to take care of. Now, it would have been more fun to have at least one friend go with me, but all my friends work and/or have those kids and spouses to negotiate. However, I was determined to just enjoy the day. And I soooo did.

My new goal? Of course, you could have guessed it. To do this more often. Of course, I can't "plan" to do it, or it won't be spontaneous, right? I'll let you know what happens on the next "mental health day."

When is the last time you did something totally spontaneous?

Friends ARE friends forever, Aren't they?

So... I've had some friend issues lately. I guess it doesn't matter how old you get, and how deep your friendships may be... anytime you have people in the mix - life has the potential to get messy.

So, several of my friends have said, or done, or not done things in the last month or so that have hurt my feelings. That deep kind of hurt that makes you wonder if you truly were friends at all. And, if you are a girl at least, you begin to analyze all the ins and outs of your friendship. You begin to feel like you are in junior high all over again.

These "incidents" got me to thinking... How many times have I said something hurtful? Done something mean? Been a jerk? Been selfish? Who do I need to apologize to? In essence, how can I be a better friend to my friends?

A good friend of mine always says, "You can say what you really think, or you can have friends." And, I've come to decide that he's right. While you've got to have great communication in all of your relationships to have any hope of health, there are just some things that are much better left unsaid.

We are all flawed. And Christ calls us to love people beyond their flaws, correct? Dang. Wouldn't it be easier to just say, well, you my friend are a jerk, or mean, or nasty, or crazy, or hurtful, or selfish, or weird, or whatever... and I just don't want to be friends anymore. Easier, certainly. But, my guess is less fulfilling or enriching.

So, offer some grace today to your friends. Maybe even, dare I say it, to your enemies?

Sicky McSick Sick

Well... the nasty flu bug that seems to be blanketing Oklahoma finally got me. To be honest, I don't think I've been sympathetic enough with friends who have had the flu in the past. Had I only known. I'm pretty much a suck-it-up and keep rolling kind of gal when it comes to illness. However, this one did me in. I was out of work for 5 straight days (I don't think I've ever taken that many days off for illness - EVER)... and then had to take another day when I just couldn't get over the tail end of the stuff! The first two days, I don't even think I knew who I was. After my fever finally broke - which by the way is a pretty gross experience in itself - I felt a lot better, but I was so ridiculously weak. I've never experienced anything like it. It is some bad, bad stuff.

The only bright spot was that I lost 18 pounds in about a week and half. So, I pretty much lost all the extra weight I gained over the holidays... but I'm sure all that will jump right back on as soon as I start eating regularly again! So hey... if you are looking to loose some weight fast - I recommend the flu diet. Very effective.

I'm still a little foggy and haven't quite gotten my appetite back yet, but I am craving some Mexican food today - so that is always a good sign.

So, for all of you out there who have received little or no sympathy from me when you've had the flu...I offer an apology. For the rest of you... get back to work - fakers!

Week 1 down - and I want my MTV!

So, it has almost been a week, and my TV fast is going well. I really don't want my MTV...I just thought that would be a clever title.

The best news - I AM READING AGAIN!!!! Woo Hoo! I've been going through my stacks of Newsweek magazines like CRAZY...ok, so I'm a little behind on the news... but at least I am reading up on what's been happening in the world. Also, I read a book on Saturday. It was total entertainment (The choice, by Nicolas Sparks - not his best work)... but I'm starting out slow. You didn't expect me to start with War & Peace, did you?

I love reading until I fall asleep. And I mean this literally. I read until I just can't keep my little eyes open, and my book or magazine is falling out of my hands onto the bed. Well, sometimes it falls on the floor which totally wakes me up and gives me a few more minutes of reading time until my eyes are once again heavy. Love it. My brain really loves it. I feel smarter already.

I did "celebrate" on the sabbath by watching a bit of TV...well, I watched the Grammy's. A bit disappointing this year I have to say. No real show stoppers. I also watched several episodes of 24 - Season 6. I've finished the first two disks and I'm well on my way to being totally caught up when and if the new season begins. I heard it won't begin until next fall. I'm not sure I can sit and watch a regular showing of 24, with commercials, seeing as I have watched all 6 Seasons on DVD.

So, I encourage you to turn off that TV and pick up a book. It will do your mind some good.

Have a good day babydoll.

Today someone called me "babydoll" and "sweetheart" within a matter of a few seconds. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but my skin crawls and my eyes instantly roll at such ridiculousness. Maybe because people who use these fluffy phrases are usually the last people on the planet that I want to be calling me by these names.

Now, deep down, I know they are usually just trying to be nice...or build some emotional connection with me...but why does it feel so condescending?

Thoughts?

40 Days without TV

As you may have read in an earlier post...I really do feel like TV is killing my brain. I don't really watch that much TV, because I'm not really home that much. However, when I am home...usually late at night and on weekends...the TV is usually on. When you live alone, it is nice to have the noise of TV, especially now that I no longer have a dog.

So, I decided that I would give up TV for Lent. I'm kind of excited. I've given up my TV before...not for Lent, but for extended periods of time. It is always hard at first. Even when you don't watch a lot of TV...it is amazing to find out that you do waste much more time than you think in front of the television. (Now some of you glass half empty, negative nellies out there might be saying...sure, she gives up TV when there really are no good options anyway due to the writer's strike. Way to go out there on a limb for self-denial. But, I look at it as a win-win. )

Of course, the whole intent of "giving up" something during Lent is that you would draw closer to God. And it would stand to reason that any time freed up from the dumb television would allow for more time spent with God, listening for his voice, and just simply being silent...something we in the western world value all too little.

I think I've also mentioned in a previous e-mail that I haven't been reading much lately...so I'm looking forward to that desire to creep back in as well. Weird how I really want to be reading, I totally miss that in my life...but every time I pick something up, I just can't focus or retain the info. Hmmm.

I might even...dare I say it...start to exercise! What???? You never know what craziness might come as a result of this deprivation.

Stay tuned to see how it goes. It is only 40 days.

Semi-Super Tuesday

I just realized that I can not vote in today's primary elections... and I'm so bummed. I am registered as an independent voter... and Oklahoma's elections are closed, meaning you have to be registered as a dem to vote for the dem candidates...and likewise for the repub candidates.

Dang.

Oh well...I'm still encouraging everyone else to get out there and vote.

Tuesday is now only Semi-Super for me.

Who's Excited for Super Tuesday????

Get out there and vote people!

Can't wait for the late night channel surfing...Fox, CNN, MSNBC...to hear all the pundits calling the results.

LOVE this Presidential Election!

Chipotle Shmotle

Chipotle finally opened in the OKC area. While I'm happy for the masses that enjoy the burrito madness, I'm not sold on the status of the over-rated burrito maker. Don't get me wrong, I like Chipotle...but we've had Qdoba for a while now and they are much better, in my book. And...now that we have a Freebirds (in Norman)...Chipotle falls even lower on my burrito scale. Here is how I rank the burrito makers:

1.) Freebirds
2.) Qdoba
3.) Chipotle
4.) Moe's

What is your ranking?

Surprise & Delight

Who doesn't love a good surprise?

I went on a trip recently and was completely surprised by the outcome. I didn't really want to go. I wasn't excited. And just when I least expected it, the Lord totally surprised me. Surprised me with fun I didn't anticipate. Laughter I really needed. And... transparency that revived my soul. I got a bit teary.

I can't go into a lot of detail... so as to protect the innocent... but just know that the Lord does indeed have perfect timing. If we can just bring ourselves to wait on him... he comes through at just the right moment... with just the right wisdom. I wonder how many times in my life I'll have to be reminded of this simple truth?

Getting Older

So...I decided I'm no longer young. That's right...at the ripe old age of 36, I've officially crossed over into the land of the grown ups. How do I know this? Well, consider the following evidence:

1.) I care about the elections. More than just presidential...but smaller local elections get my attention too.
2.) I watch Nightline almost every night...that is when I don't fall asleep first.
3.) I think about (but don't actually do this yet) wearing sensible (I prefer the term "comfortable") shoes.
4.) I like talk radio.

Need I go on?

More Cheese Please

At the risk of sounding completely cheesy, I found this quote that I absolutely love:

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." - Unknown Author

Do you have a friend like this? I do, and I feel incredibly blessed.

I've decided that 2008 is the year of friendship for me. I'm committed to telling my friends how much and what I appreciate about them. Life is short... and in the words of one of my friends... you've got to enjoy every sandwich.

I've also decided I'm going to let more people into my circle of trust. I'll admit it...I don't let a lot of people in. I mean, truly in where they indeed to know they song of my heart. I don't have any deep traumatic tale that would let you psycho-analyze my trust issues...I'm just naturally a pretty private person. I owe this trait to my Dad and my Mom... but for very different reasons. Dad = ULTRA Private. Mom = The opposite of Private.

So, if you are in my circle... consider yourself one of the few. If you are not... well, 2008 could be your year.

You gotta start somewhere...Enjoy the randomness.

So...I've thought about creating a blog for some time now. And, now I've done it and can't figure out what to blog about. Maybe I don't have enough to say to even justify the existence of a blog. It is funny that I've thought of a thousand things to blog about when I'm away from my computer...but the second I sit down and get serious about writing...Nothing. Nada. Not one interesting thought comes to mind.

Do you ever wonder if you are an interesting person? I wonder that all that time. I love talking to interesting people. Love engaging in stimulating conversation. Love listening to people with creative thoughts and fresh perspectives. Then I start to think...am I interesting? If I was listening to myself, would I begin to nod off? You'd have to be pretty boring to bore yourself, right?

Last night I decided that TV is killing my brain cells. Seriously. I always said (that was my first mistake...never "always say" anything...it will sneak up and bite you in the booty every time) that I'd never have a TV in my bedroom. I used to LOVE to read for at least an hour before I fell asleep each night. It was just good thinking time. Well, of course I fell into the trap and put a dumb TV in the bedroom. Now, I watch ridiculous shows, channel surf until I fall asleep. I've lost that end of the day quiet time to process my thoughts...and I feel it. I just get fatigued from all the NOISE in my life...yet I'm not disciplined enough to turn some of it off. I mean really, who is in control here? Maybe tonight I'll unplug and move the TV out of my room.